Posts Tagged ‘drinking’


My head hurts today, for a number of reasons. Number one, I am feeling the effects of over-indulging in copious amounts of my good old friend, rye whiskey. I don’t do it often anymore, but when I do, I rarely do it halfway. My mama didn’t raise no quitter! The second reason I’m a little sore? I fell off the diet and exercise wagon and hit every meat and cheese sandwich on the way down.

As the weekend was approaching, I noticed I was slowly losing my resolve to work out and eat well. I had been really enjoying the new routine! The regular exercise and newfound love of all things healthy really were making a big difference not only in my waistline but also in my energy, mood and general mindset, so I was surprised when I began noticing my old frenemies “Procrastination” and “Laziness” coming around again. Oh well, no biggie. I stuck to the routine for 6 weeks without fail, a couple of lazy days wouldn’t kill me, right?

But soon enough, a few other old acquaintances were joining the party. On Friday night, the last thing I felt like doing after a long day in the kitchen making cakes was cooking supper. Enter my old pal, “Take Out.” Mommy doesn’t feel like cooking, Chinese Food it is! Isn’t it ironic that on the days you don’t exercise, you suddenly don’t care as much about eating junk? It’s like, “hey! I didn’t work out today, I guess I don’t have to worry about this doughnut totally negating the calories I just busted my ass to burn off! Today’s a write-off! Bring on the ice-cream!” Yumm, that was delicious. Probably could have and should have just whipped up something quick and healthy but what the hell, it’s the weekend! I worked hard this week! Everybody needs a break every once in a while, right? By this point, I was not feeling bad at all yet about my decisions. I have spent the last 6 weeks working on changing my attitude about diet and exercise so that I truly do view it as a long term lifestyle change…a marathon not a sprint. So allowing myself treats here or junk food there is not a big issue…generally I find that allowance translates into less guilt and ultimately less indulgence. However, I did seem to be going overboard on the internal dialogue regarding all the reasons it was ok to skip workouts and eat take-out. Hello, “Rationalization”! How nice to see you again!

Saturday arrived. I was very excited. I had plans! I had friends! I had a babysitter!!!! And, adding to my delight, I had a somewhat leaner, sexier body to dress up and take out! What could make this night any better? Whiskey. Whiskey makes it better! Not only do my friends seem funnier, but I get funnier as well! And better looking! And did I mention, I become a MUCH better dancer with whiskey? Anyway, I got dressed up and met up with my friends….everyone was in the mood to party! Excellent! Who needs “Procrastination”, “Laziness”, “TakeOut”, and “Rationalization”? I left those losers at home! Time to get my party on!

Now I know I don’t have to tell you that alcohol has calories. But let’s be honest. Who cares?! The whole purpose of alcohol is to be able to let loose a little and not focus so much on the deadlines, rules and hum-drum minutiae of day-today life. So if I’m going out, and I’m drinking alcohol, you can bet your ass I am NOT worrying about how many calories are in my cocktail. Now that being said, Alcohol also has another interesting side effect. It tends to “lower your inhibitions”. And by this, what I really mean is that it tends to remove your desire to “Give a Shit” about things you normally would. Like, for instance, overt public displays of affection, embarrassing yourself, or in my case, eating like you’re the defending champion of a sandwich eating contest. I know I’m not the only one this happens to, either. Have you ever seen a 7-11 at 3 a.m.? I’m sure they sell the most chicken wings between the hours of 1 and 4 in the morning. Drunk people are hungry people!!

By midnight, I was feeling pretty darn good about myself. I had a hot date. I was being complimented left and right on my new “improvements” and I was feeling like all my hard work was finally paying off. And, I was drunkety drunk drunk and that of course didn’t hurt my self confidence. So when the ‘midnight lunch’ made its appearance, I thought to myself, “YES!” I’m hungry! What better than a good old fashioned bunwich to soak up some of this booze? There’s something to be said for the fabled Bunwich. Nice big carb-loaded bun, fill it up with the finest cuts of salty deli meat, add a pound of cheese or so, top it off with some pickles and a generous smattering of mustard. Voila`! When it’s late, and you’re drunk, the Bunwich is like the Filet Mignon of the over-imbibed masses. The trouble is that it is also like a Pringle potato chip…you can’t eat just one!

I had finished my sandwich, and graciously ‘helped’ a friend finish hers. I was still hungry. My date was on his way to the lunch table so I politely asked, “Babe, do you think you could grab a little something for me while you’re up? Thanks!” But I think it cam out like, “HeyTHERE baaaaabe, you wanna make me another Sammidge??? I’mSOHUNGRY I could eat the ass out of a dead Rhino!!!” Sexy, hey? I know. Blame it on the whiskey. By the time we left the party and headed to the after-party (after enjoying a quick bunwich on the cab ride over) I think the sammidge tally was at about 4. For reals. We had one less passenger with us in the cab. My new friend, “Self Control” had left the building.
The after-party had cake. It was somebody’s birthday. Would I like a piece? Don’t mind if I do! Make it a big one too, I made the damn thing and I’m gonna taste it!!! Damn that’s good. I make good cake. Not sure I could actually taste anything at this point but what the hell, it looked delicious. The cake kept me going until about 3:30, when I fell asleep on the couch, and woke up this morning feeling like death.

Today, like every hung over day, was a write off. You gotta allow yourself a few of those in life. I feel like the walking dead but it was worth it! I had fun! I leet loose! I ate a lot and drank a lot and laughed a lot, and I am so glad I did. I needed a break. I needed a reason to keep going! A fun and vibrant life worth living is the reason I want to be healthy in the first place. I want to work hard and do things right 80% of the time so I can be lazy and do everything wrong for the other 20%. It’s all about balance! Reward yourself for your efforts. Take breaks. Have fun. Hang your guilt and remorse for all your bad choices at the door and join the party every once in a while. Life is for living!

I haven’t heard from “Self Control” yet today but I’m sure she’ll be back tomorrow. She probably got drunk and had a one night stand with “Responsibility.” As for those other motley characters “Procrastination” “Laziness” “Take-Out” and “Rationalization”….they’re packing their bags and leaving tonight. I’m sure they’ll be back as well, but for now they’ve overstayed their welcome. I can only handle them in small doses. Besides, they’re loud, they leave a mess, and they make my house smell like sammidges and failure. Good Riddance!